Category Archives: LOVE

October 14, 2014

You’ll Never Win

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You know that game of back and forth? That game you may play, “one upping,” yeah…The game you usually play with your spouse after a long day, you may not even realize you’re playing! I like to call it the, “My Day Is Harder Than Yours and I’m Going To Be Passive Until You Give Me A Pat On the Back” game. Our game, that I’m rightfully forfeiting, goes a little something like this–

Here I am, at 7:46pm, just put the boys to bed and now as I’m typing I’m also simultaneously bouncing and nursing Ivy to sleep. And? The icing on the cake? Anthony is still at work. He’s been gone since 7am! I know he works hard, but I am exhausted. Up to my ears in messes, crazy tantrums in target over batteries, baby food pouches squirted all over the walls and rugs, whining, errands, dinner, baths, and pajamas (which is similar to chicken wrangling), etc! And this is all done in the wonderful haze that teething brings to us parents. But ah, silence now and a glass of wine. Relaxing? Should be! But if I turn around I have a pile of laundry I need to fold, and a kitchen to wipe down.

And during all of this, Anthony is at work. Going in and out of people’s homes all day, giving them the american necessity; cable, phone and internet. He deals with happy customers, angry customers, grumpy customers, rude customers… Each who are demanding a service from him. He works and drives non-stop, and on his small breaks he is updating customer’s info and leaving notes. He does all of this without a two-hour nap time break, and he does it all for us. Sixty hours a week.

After 8:30, we find ourselves on the couch. Both exhausted, and it’s so easy to want to have a pity-party for the bad day. I sometimes feel like Anthony gets to go out into the real world, have adult conversations, eat a lunch without having to share, he gets a full nights sleep without a baby on his boob, and then sleeps in on his one dat off! And he feels as though he’s missing out on spending time with the kids, and that I get to wear spandex pants all day, enjoy parks and zoos with the kids, or bake cookies and watch movies in pajamas. But, our roles are so opposite that it’s hard to even compare or think that one’s day could be worse than the other’s long day.

One upping is never fun (Oh sorry your day was long babe, mine was too. Did you know I was up twice with Ivy last night? And that Seb threw the biggest tantrum in Target and I had to physically carry him out while Ivy was in the ergo resulting in Grey pushing the cart into an end cap full of DVDs that landed on the floor? And that I broke the new butter dish I just bought to replace the other one that I broke?). As passive and subtle that this game is, it never ends well. The one-uppers can often lead to resentment which causes a strain on your relationship. When I hear myself start to play, I quickly tell myself that no one wins. He is working just as hard as I am, if not harder.  After all, we’re a team! A unit. No need to have a “worse” day. We’re both in this crazy season of parenting three children under five, together.

Xx

August 16, 2014

Cheers to Two Years

I love this man. He came into our lives at the perfect time, and it’s like he was here all along. I love him more now than I ever thought I could two years ago, Anthony is my true Mate. Cheers to two years, babe.

I’m sharing our elopement since I never had the platform to do so :) We had planned it in two days.. which isn’t the most ideal, but it worked for us. This was also just after three and a half months of being in each other’s lives. I say “When you know, you know” a lot, and I mean it. We walked into Tiffany’s for fun, walked out with  four rings. Yes, four. They’re dainty (and square! and rose gold!), and perfect. Waited nine days for them to be ready, made an appointment at the court-house, hunted down two new outfits in two days, and hired a photographer  who also was kind enough to double as our witness.

I loved this day. We’ll be renewing our vows and having a ceremony for our five-year, but eloping was the right choice for us, in that moment. Our marriage was to solidifying our love and commitment to each other, and I think the day portrayed that perfectly. The peace I had while standing with Anthony, a Judge, and our photographer is indescribable. I know weddings are amazing and I’m probably partial, but I was okay being zoned out on Anthony and not needing to interact with a hundred other people. There was a stillness and I knew that this was right, this man I was marrying, The One.

Something to note, we flew to Florida shortly after marrying and then drove Anthony’s belongings back across the country. Five days later, we were home. And that is when Greysen started referring to him as Dad. The title wasn’t given, it was earned. And I can honestly say we are so lucky. Our life now is just as it’s supposed to be. We’ve gone through a lot together in these two short years, and I am so excited for what the future brings.

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He and I
When words run dry,

He does not try,
Nor do I.
We are on par.
He just is,
I just am,
And we just are.
– Lang Leav