We went to get our tree last night, and leave it to me to turn a fun, twenty-minute outing into an hour activity. Our first stop was picked over and crowded. So I pouted, and tried controlling the situation– which backfired, of course :) I sucked the fun right out of picking a tree, because I wanted a “perfect” tree… which is embarrassing to admit. I know I’m pretty controlling (sorry Husband, sorry Mom), but to say no to a brown tree that my six-year-old loved really woke me up. I kept telling myself to just let it go, that it didn’t matter, it was just a tree, and if my kids love it then so would I! But there I was, asking my husband to unwrap tree after tree while the kids were play fighting with branch swords.
I don’t want to ruin traditions that we are creating and have our children remember me getting frustrated over “the one.” I want them to remember sipping their hot chocolate, playing those branch games, being happy with what’s there, and the drive home of “will the tree make it?!” They don’t care if the tree is naked on the top or has too many holes, they just want to make it pretty, “so Santa can find us!” I’m hoping the rest of this month I can let go of my “ways,” and not try to control every little detail. I had a grand idea of decorating my tree with shiny silver ornaments, but my husband’s 20 childhood hallmark ornaments and our six years worth of “an ornament a year” tradition ornaments are up on the tree. And I didn’t hang a single one, or fix the tree after they all went to sleep. I do believe it’s the most wonderful time of the year, and I’m aiming towards being content and present for these little people, who ultimately will mirror my attitude.